"No Ego" Book Club

Why is Building Wealth is So Elusive for Blacks?

lhowell — Fri, 24 Jul 2009 03:37:20 +0000

We don’t like risk. That’s the answer, but requires some explanation with such a terse answer. Here’s what I mean: after watching the CNN special Black in America 2, and the feature of Tyler Perry, something clicked that compelled me to write this post. What’s interesting and fascinating to me is how much risk African-American men will take when committing crimes, such as dealing drugs, committing robbery, check fraud, influence peddling while in political office among other unscrupulous enterprises.

However, when it comes to launching a business that uses our entrepreneurial creativity, Black men seem to be significantly less willing to take risks. When we are children, we tend to aspire to work for someone else; we talk about becoming a lawyer only to work for a large firm. To be sure, it is important to gain the experience and credibility from these experiences, but after listening to Tyler Perry, you just can’t help but get excited, motivated and amped up to do something BIG with your life or your business idea.

In this economic downturn, we have to look inside rather than continuing to look outside for hope and opportunity. The risk I speak of is no different than crossing the street each day. Cross the street for yourself to meet a prospective client. Make a phone call to a Fortune 500 company and ask for their business and never take no for answer. In other words, now is the time to obtain what you want and go get it. What do we have to lose by taking the risk of believing in ourself?

Being More Aware – Harder than You Think

lhowell — Fri, 29 May 2009 16:20:17 +0000

I am excited about the future for all of us, but let’s remember that the summer months can often make us forget common sense. Speeding, drunk driving, unprotected sex and other bad behavior means your ego is getting the best of you. Be safe and have a terrific summer!

Ego Strikes Again: Plaxico Burress Most Recent Example

lhowell — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 15:29:24 +0000

On of the main themes of this blog discusses how the “ego” is destroying the black man. We’ve all heard or read about the NY Giant’s wide receiver, along with his buddy, Antonio Pierce trip to a New York night club at 1:30 AM. Well, click here to read more. During our discussions about the ego, by regular men at the barber shop, we discussed how corrosive our behaviors can be. The Plaxico Burress story is another illustration of what happens when one is rewarded with a large contract after “performing well on the field” only to jeopardize it just a quickly off the field. I have absolutely no sympathy for this stupid, ignorant moron posing as a football player. Jerry Rice, the greatest receiver of all time NEVER got even close to behaving this way. Michael Vick now has someone he can throw to so he can keep in shape while locked up. And the brother’s inside should be obliged to kick Burress’ dumb ass for being so stupid and ignorant.

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Recap of Chapter 7 – Finding Who You Truly Are: What it Means to Me

lhowell — Sat, 01 Nov 2008 13:24:18 +0000

Our spiritual journey is never ending as we traverse throughout life. During the course of this journey, it is important to acknowledge people and let them know how much they are appreciated and valued. This appreciation goes to all the guys who have joined the No Ego Book Club. One of these gentlemen is owed a special thanks, Lamonte Bourgeois, the owner of Image Kafe and host of this extraordinary gathering each Tuesday night.

Lamonte Bourgeois and Lafayette Howell

So, chapter 7, was and remains especially pertinent to me and I think, perhaps for others as well. When Lamonte and I would discuss his vision for the shop before moving to his current location, it was more externally focused (e.g. having social gatherings, watching sporting events, and the like). At the time, there was never discussion of having a book club. I must confess, when I first brought up the idea to Lamonte earlier this year, I had my doubts internally, but after seven chapters and a devastating hurricane (Ike), we continue our spiritual journey together.

What we’ve recognized is that this book club of all men and in particular all African-American men discussing the same book as did Oprah for 10 weeks is a testament that we are aligning with who we truly are and want to be and not necessarily who we THINK we want to be.

The point of this chapter is best summed up by Ben Miller, one of our members and a customer of Lamonte in which he describes our state of people today: “everybody is friendly, but nobody are friends”. So just imagine, if you put together creative ideas, passion for who you truly are and not what you think you are combined with the courage to put yourself out there as we did with the No Ego Book Club, special things will happen.

This is, in many respects, what we are experiencing across the globe with the Presidential election. We all hope and pray that Barack Obama gets elected without controversy. Our small book club consisting of over 20 or so African-American men from all professions, with their own stories, represents the dreams and aspirations of Obama. And just like Senator Obama, we have received inquiries from people who have watched our broadcast from New Jersey and some regular viewers as far away as Ohio and who knows where else. So, we must believe in ourselves and be in the Present at all times. Doing so provides no guarantees, but it puts us on a path that is positive and sustainable for children, our communities and the collective humanity. So, thanks to Lamonte for having the vision to do what he does and the courage to bring us together.

Chapter 6 – “Breaking Free” Live September 30

lhowell — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 04:36:32 +0000

The guys will be back this Tuesday, so here is a sneak preview of Chapter 6, Breaking Free of A New Earth. Since we broadcast our book club sessions from Houston, many of our viewers have wondered what happened last week. Well, here’s the deal: Hurricane Ike caused power outages and it impacted the A/C and did not allow for a pleasant environment. But now, we are are back. To give you an idea of this chapter, check out this video from a previous webcast.

On page 173, Tolle describes that the “pain-body” and “ego” are close relatives. They need each other. The triggering event or situation is then interpreted and reacted to through the screen of a heavily emotional ego. ”You look at the present through the eyes of the emotional past within you.”

Think about this: if you find yourself behaving or thinking this way, you are asleep literally. You are more susceptible to causing an accident while driving or saying something completely inappropriate or not perform on your job. I strongly encourage you to join us this coming Tuesday, September 30 at 7:30 CDT.

Chapter 6 – September 16 Meeting is Postponed due to Hurricane Ike

lhowell — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 17:11:43 +0000

I talked to Lamont and it was without hesitation that tonight’s session with the guys should be postponed. As you all know, hurricane Ike paid a visit to Houston, and for the most part people are coming back to life, but we have bigger issues with getting power, repairing homes, and getting back to work. See you next week!

Chapter 5: The Pain Body – Recorded 9-9-08

lhowell — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 04:32:29 +0000

For those of you who join us in person, you missed the most moving and uplifting conversation to date. Wow! I just got home from the book club, and talked to Lamonte for about 45 minutes after our session, we would probably still be talking if we did not have to be at work in the morning. So, for our loyal viewers and the casual viewer, we want you to have immediate access to this session on the The Pain Body.

It’s late right now, but you can expect a much more thorough post in the next day or so as I process and digest the conversation. There was so much, and much of it is so personal and painful to talk about. I will however, leave you with some exercises that I shared with the guys to help manage and in some cases rid yourself of the “pain body” as it happens to you.

The pain-body doesn’t want you to observe it directly. The moment you observe the pain-body, feel its energy field within you and take your attention into it, the identification is broken. A higher dimension of consciousness comes in. It is called Presence. You are now the witness or the watcher of the pain-body.

Here are three ways to observe and dissolve the pain-body:

Watch out for any sign of unhappiness in yourself in whatever form—it may be the awakening pain-body. This can take the form of irritation, impatience, a somber mood, a desire to hurt, anger, rage, depression, a need to have some drama in your relationship and so on. Catch the pain-body the moment it awakens from its dormant stage.
Observe the resistance within yourself. Observe the attachment to your pain. Be very alert. Observe the peculiar pleasure you derive from being unhappy. Observe the compulsion to talk or think about it. The resistance will cease if you make it conscious.
Focus attention on the negative feeling inside you. Know that it is the pain-body. Accept that it is there. Don’t think about it—don’t let the feeling turn into thinking. Don’t judge yourself out of it. Stay present, and continue to be the observer of what is happening inside you.

Chapter 5 Preview – The Pain Body this Tuesday

lhowell — Sat, 06 Sep 2008 01:39:46 +0000

It seems like it’s been months since the guys met–I guess that what happens when you look so forward to discussing topics that are truly important. We changed our weekly session now to Tuesdays, starting this coming week on September 9 at 7:30. I am excited because we will get everyone’s focused attention, because I could not imagine trying to compete with Monday Night Football.

Next for us is Chapter 5, “The Pain Body“. There is a quote from the book that sums up what this chapter is all about.

"Nothing ever happened in the past that can prevent you

from being present now..." p. 141

This is important for all of us, because we all have pain in some form. For many of us, it is the dissappointment of one’s father not being available when you really needed him or losing a friend over some bull… that you can’t remember why they are not your friend anymore. The pain-body is not just about forgiveness, it is BIGGER than that to be sure. By knowing how the pain-body affects your thinking and approach to situations you can “free yourself” and take off the shackles that keep you from saying to yourself, “shoulda, woulda, coulda”. By understanding this, you can be Present and conscious in your dealings. Here is a sneak preview of Chapter 5 with the author, Eckhart Tolle.

This is a BIG DEAL! Here’s why: if you go into a job interview or dating someone or handling a family crisis, you will get the result you are looking for by NOT carrying the baggage of the past with you ALL THE TIME. This is what is called, “the angry Black man” or “the militant brotha”. How we manage the pain-body is the difference between achieving your personal objectives and goals and falling short. We will have real-life examples to share and discuss, so don’t miss our session this coming Tuesday. If you can’t make it, you can always tune in and send in your comments online during the broadcast.

Chapter 4: Role Playing and the Ego – Recorded 8-25-08

lhowell — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 05:10:28 +0000

For those of you who could not watch the live broadcast on Monday evening, August 25, you can watch the recorded version below. We are taking off next week because of the holiday. We will resume our broadcast starting Tuesday at 7:30 PM, live from the Image Kafe barber shop. Enjoy Chapter 4.

Live Broadcast at 7:30 of Relevant and Real Conversation with Black Men

lhowell — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 10:45:03 +0000

Watch Live at 7:30 PM tonight (August 25). CLICK HERE. We experienced some broadcast challenges last week that prevented us from streaming the video portion of the show live. The problem is now resolved and you will be able to watch live. Thanks for your patience and understanding. Check out scenes from last weeks session, by scrolling down below.