Why is Building Wealth is So Elusive for Blacks?

We don’t like risk.  That’s the answer, but requires some explanation with such a terse answer.  Here’s what I mean: after watching the CNN special Black in America 2, and the feature of Tyler Perry, something clicked that compelled me to write this post.  What’s interesting and fascinating to me is how much risk African-American men will take when committing crimes, such as dealing drugs, committing robbery, check fraud, influence peddling while in political office among other unscrupulous enterprises.

However, when it comes to launching a business that uses our entrepreneurial creativity, Black men seem to be significantly less willing to take risks.  When we are children, we tend to aspire to work for someone else; we talk about becoming a lawyer only to work for a large firm.  To be sure, it is important to gain the experience and credibility from these experiences, but after listening to Tyler Perry, you just can’t help but get excited, motivated and amped up to do something BIG with your life or your business idea.

In this economic downturn, we have to look inside rather than continuing to look outside for hope and opportunity.  The risk I speak of is no different than crossing the street each day.  Cross the street for yourself to meet a prospective client.  Make a phone call to a Fortune 500 company and ask for their business and never take no for answer. In other words, now is the time to obtain what you want and go get it.  What do we have to lose by taking the risk of believing in ourself?

Being More Aware – Harder than You Think

I am excited about the future for all of us, but let’s remember that the summer months can often make us forget common sense.  Speeding, drunk driving, unprotected sex and other bad behavior means your ego is getting the best of you.  Be safe and have a terrific summer!

Chapter 6 – “Breaking Free” Live September 30

The guys will be back this Tuesday, so here is a sneak preview of Chapter 6, Breaking Free of A New Earth.  Since we broadcast our book club sessions from Houston, many of our viewers have wondered what happened last week.  Well, here’s the deal: Hurricane Ike caused power outages and it impacted the A/C and did not allow for a pleasant environment.  But now, we are are back.  To give you an idea of this chapter, check out this video from a previous webcast.  

On page 173, Tolle describes that the “pain-body” and “ego” are close relatives.  They need each other.  The triggering event or situation is then interpreted and reacted to through the screen of a heavily emotional ego.  ”You look at the present through the eyes of the emotional past within you.”  

Think about this: if you find yourself behaving or thinking this way, you are asleep literally.  You are more susceptible to causing an accident while driving or saying something completely inappropriate or not perform on your job.  I strongly encourage you to join us this coming Tuesday, September 30 at 7:30 CDT.

Chapter 6 – September 16 Meeting is Postponed due to Hurricane Ike

I talked to Lamont and it was without hesitation that tonight’s session with the guys should be postponed.  As you all know, hurricane Ike paid a visit to Houston, and for the most part people are coming back to life, but we have bigger issues with getting power, repairing homes, and getting back to work.  See you next week!

Countdown to Book Club Launch: Debunk the Myths

As we approach the launch of the most exciting event for Black men to take place in Houston on August 4 at 7:30 PM, I want to set the foundation for why our book club is so important.  Many of you saw Black in America last week on CNN, while compelling and informative, the discussions centered around the symptoms and frankly some misinformation.   The “No Ego” book club is about the how.  And to achieve a better understanding, of how, I discovered current and relevant data that debunks many of the myths shared on the CNN program.

The book club has just under 20 brothers who will be attending this seminal event.  I am excited because armed with a new way of thinking through our first book, A New Earth, by Eckhart Tolle, and debunking many of those tired myths (e.g. more brothers in jail than in college, which is actually incorrect), we are poised to change the misconceptions, and to be in the Present and take our lives to an entirely new level. Have a great week!

Personal Accountability and Pain Bodies

As I write this, I am watching the CNN program, Reclaiming the Dream, hosted by Soledad O’Brien. This is the prelude to the telecast that will air Wednesday and Thursday called Black in America. What is compelling about the show tonight is the focus. The common theme discussed was focused on “how“. How to solve problems that are seemingly intractable in the African-American community.

One of the upcoming chapters we will get deep into is Pain-Bodies in chapter 5.  Pain-bodies simply put consists of pain we have endured in our past that haunts us and influences how we behave or react.  For example, if you were raised by a single parent and saw some not so pretty things growing up, those images haunt you.  Those images hurt and those images influence dramatically how we handle situations.  As D.L. Hugley said on the program, he “doesn’t know of one Black man who is not broken in some way.”  What happens is we give the past power over us.  I can’t wait for us to cover this chapter, because it will likely extend for two, maybe three sessions.

Oprah Has All the Fun: Men Want Some Too

Starting Monday, August 4, 2008 the official “No Ego” book club launches in Houston, Texas at the Image Kafe, a barber salon for men.  We will adopt a similar format to Oprah less 8 million viewers.  For the next 10 weeks we will explore Eckhart Tolle’s book, “A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose“.

Oprah’s loyal fans were talking about this book in droves and I noticed how few Black men were involved in the conversation.   The approach we will take is a bit different, because we will take these concepts and make them relevant, related to how we live and real.  If 8 million people logged on to listen to Tolle and Oprah for 10 weeks, then I figured the brothers that I meet at the Image Kafe and elsewhere would definitely want to be part of this life changing opportunity.  So thanks Oprah!

The excitement starts with this book by joining our book club on Monday nights starting August 4, 2008 at 7:30PM.  To let us know email: ridtheego@gmail.com or call 281-728-5842.  We will start with Chapter 2 – Ego: The Current State of Humanity.  We encourage you to read Chapter 1 in also to get the full context and to get the full benefit of Chapter 2 with positive results.   We can always change the flow based on the interests of the group, so not to worry, we know everybody has to go to work the next day.  The location map is below.  Hope to have you as part of this special time for Black men in our country.

Why is the “Ego” So Damaging for Black Men?

The answer: behaviors and lessons from uncles and fathers that taught us what we know.  Think back to the many conversations we have all had at work, at the barber shop, hanging out, on the golf course; the single most compelling term that pops up is: conquest.  While I share the definition of conquest: an act of winning the love or sexual favor of someone, think back to what being popular meant or how prolific we want to be as purveyors of “off the chain” sexual thrills.  But what is this really all about?

The egoic state is rooted in the simplest of words:  “my”

Think about what this shortest of words represents and how the word “my” has sent us to jail, harmed family members deeply or worse caused us to act out in destructive ways that keep us down–on the inside that is.  News flash, it is NOT “the man” that is keeping you down.

“This is my pussy…”  “This is my crib…but I really can’t afford it…”  “These are my cars–all 12 of them”  “This is my jewelry…”  It’s about my respect…  Unfortunately, these images for young Black men today start at the age of 6 months old.  Now imagine if you have a newborn and they see the following video as their daily dose of TV until 14 years, what do you think might be your result as a parent?

From page 134 of a A New Earth: “Although the body is very intelligent, it cannot tell the difference between an actual situation and a thought.”  Here is what is meant: have you ever imagined what it would be like to do something (go the Super Bowl) or be associated with (get a lot of money) or (sleep with that person).  You likely had more enjoyment and satisfaction thinking about those things.  What actually happened and how did it truly feel to hang out with Beyonce in New York?

So ask yourself, while pursuing “my” related experiences, material things or conquests, in what state of mind were you?  Was/is your thinking clear right now?  Were you happy months afterward?  Did the result or achievement cause you more pain than it was worth?  Pain can take on many forms by the way such as anxiety, insecurity, paranoia, financial debt, unnecessary tension, relationship strain.

That is why Black men must “focus” and be clear and enjoy this moment…the right now as you read this blog.  When you are discussing something at work or with a friend, think about where you are and what you are feeling, the smells, the sounds.  Disassociate feeding your ego as what will make you happy.  YOU will make you happy, not “my” related things.  This might seem counter-intuitive but when you are connecting with yourself, and happy just being, your state of mind is freer to be in the Present.  We often preoccupy ourselves with what I have to do next and if I don’t my day is ruined.  We are always running, and fast most times.  By de-emphasizing the “my” related stuff in your life, you will simplify your life.

Did You Hang Out with Your Kids this Weekend?

Of course you did.  And if you did not, well it is not too late to do so.  I am often reminded of this when I come late from work and the kids are still up against their mom’s wishes.  They are stalling.  They ask my wife for more juice, a cheese stick, they want to watch “her” show on CNN anything to see daddy before they go to bed.  Now, that’s flattery for someone to wait on you for that long; Black men have a duty to “show up” and be present.  What happens if we don’t show up?

Have you ever made an excuse for not “showing up”?   Sure, we all have.   We chose to put ourselves over the feelings of others.

This chart shows something quite striking, but unfortunately not suprising.  The real issue is that we’ve come to expect such disparate numbers within our community.  Try this, “just show up” when you are supposed to regardless of what you have or don’t have, simply “show up” be Present, pay attention and do not fall asleep.  Read the full article entitled, “Talking Down and Stepping Up” which discusses the message from our presumptive Democratic nominee, Barack Obama.  What will you do differently to be in the Present?