Watch Live at 7:30 PM tonight (August 25). CLICK HERE. We experienced some broadcast challenges last week that prevented us from streaming the video portion of the show live. The problem is now resolved and you will be able to watch live. Thanks for your patience and understanding. Check out scenes from last weeks session, by scrolling down below.
We just concluded Week 3 of our book club and if I was more excited, some people might think I had won the lottery. In some ways all the guys who are part of this experience have won the lottery. This week was the real deal! If people want to see what real men are about, and in particular Black men, this was the week to hear our stories, our feelings, our belief systems and our passions.
We talked about the far reaching implications of how one’s ego influences how they interact in relationships to handling racially charged situations at work. What’s eye opening is how we all help each other in a way that you typically don’t see with men who are, in some cases strangers, but yet, we all share eerily similar experiences regardless of what we do for a living, our marital status or where we are from. We are all the same. This is why I believe everyone was so eager to share because the “ego” breaks you down to your core; and our core, while powerful and passionate, is also fragile and weak if we let our ego rule rather than being Present and awake as we go about our daily lives.
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One of the guys drives for METRO, and encountered a passenger who calls him the “N” word as she steps onto the bus. We counseled our good man, on how to handle this situation so that his “ego” does not respond with words or actions he would regret. What we discovered is that the real pain was “no other passengers, in particular other African-American passengers” came to his defense when hearing such harsh words. The “ego” makes you think people should feel the same level of injury or insult as you do; it (the ego) makes you delusional in this sense, which is why the excitement in the room was absolutely electric on this Monday evening.
By the way, our book club has is about to encounter a problem and we need ideas on how to resolve. Since we hold our gatherings on Monday’s at 7:30, we will now conflict with Monday Night Football. Post your response on what we should do. Remember, Lamonte is the host and he operates his business till 7:00PM on most days and the shop is closed on Mondays. What is the solution?
Week 2, we provide you with a series of video clips for you to see the energy, the transformation and connection that is taking place with Black men to being in the Present and awake, all taking place in the safest environment. The barber shop. Spread the word by adding these videos to your blog or website.
Clip 1 – Ego Defined
Clip 2 – Ego Explored
Clip 3 – Personal Conflict with the Ego
Clip 4 – Getting the Ego Under Control
Clip 5 – Inner Struggle with the Ego – Ego Loses
Clip 6 – Raising Your Consciousness to Manage the Ego
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Clip 7 – Conclusion for Week 2
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What can I say, Chapter 2 was gripping. This is the chapter where we start the journey to examining and understanding the “ego” in a different way. To be sure, we all struggle with our egos, but for the first time, I experienced a sincere and honest conversation about what this actually means for Black men. Some of us refer to it as “ego-trippin” which is what it is, and you can see when we yearn for that attention that yells, “look at me” or “check out my new ride”. Check out our introduction to the conversation. Expect more later.
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For me, and many of the guys present, the conversation was raw, meaningful and relevant; there was substance behind every comment as each person was Present, clear and in the moment. There was “no ego” as we shared intimately but with great respect for each other.
For those not able to join us or watch us live (we had some technical difficulties and now resolved the problem) you missed one of the most intriguing conversations you will ever hear about the human ego from the perspective of Black men in this country. This session could be the follow-up to CNN’s Black in America series for its richness and to dispel stereotypes and misinformation about us.
To set the stage, we played a segment of the conversation between Eckhart Tolle and Oprah to help explain what is the ego? Simply put, the ego of a person is when we identify ourselves with things, content or thoughts and in our minds believe that is who we are.
More, More, More…
This is what marketers want you to believe. The guys talked about giving more of themselves and how you get tapped out. Is it wrong to say “no” to someone you care about? Is it wrong to be selfish? People will take from you as long as you give it and therein lies the struggle for many of us who are not only doing the right thing for our families but for others. Are you being selfish when you say no?
The conversation shifted to how marketers brainwash us into thinking that we need more stuff; bigger, more expensive cars, shinier jewelry, larger house. What they are doing is systematically making us feel bad about ourselves. That is the ego talking. There was a struggle taking place as we discussed the subject of wanting more. As Tolle writes, on page 37, “we cannot really honor things if we use them as a means to self-enhancement…if we try to find ourselves through them”. Further, he goes on to say, “A large part of many people’s lives is consumed with an obsessive preoccupation with things.”
The Journey to Being Ego Free
If we spend time with our children at home, going to a park, having a cookout at a neighbor or friend’s house instead of going to the mall for an entire month, what would be the impact to the U.S. economy? Yet, as the poorest group in the country (in financial terms) we consume the most. The answer is having this insatiable appetite to feed our ego to make us think in our delusional state that we are better because of things that are impermanent and do not last. We don’t need stimulus checks to buy more stuff we do not need. Rather, we need to free ourselves of unconscious thinking, attitudes and behaviors all driven by “ego”.
We provide you with a series of short video clips for you to see the energy, the transformation and connection that is taking place with Black men to being in the Present and awake, all taking place in the safest environment. The barber shop. Enjoy!
Clip 1 – August 4, 2008: Introduction
Clip 2 – August 4, 2008: Awareness
Clip 3 – August 4, 2008: Black Men Unconscious
Clip 4 – August 4, 2008: Living Skillfully
Clip 5 – August 4, 2008: Conclusion
Huge thanks to Lamont Bourgeois, owner of Image Kafe for hosting and providing the home for our book club. We started a bit late, but not to worry; once we got started the discussion that took place was moving. In fact, Oprah would be proud of us. I sensed at the end of our time that many of us wanted to continue. For those of you that did not have a chance to attend, we have the full “pre-recorded” session below. I wanted to get this out sooner rather than later, so once I have time to go back and edit, you will see shorter 2-4 minute clips for those who don’t have a lot of time.
To give our viewers an idea, we had an exceptional group of Black men attending this important event. We had a 15 year old high school student to 44 years. From what I observed and what you will observe is something I have always said, which is: “Black men want to have meaningful, relevant conversations.” Some of the perceptions about Black men and not reading books, while admitted by the guys, it was also clear that all the guys recognize that there was something special taking place.
The key passage that seemed to capture most people’s attention from Chapter 1 was on Page 9 regarding the term “sin”. Sin has a negative connotation for people especially in the context in which it is used. However, Tolle presents the Greek translation of “sin” to mean missing “the mark, as an archer who misses the target, so to sin means to miss the point of human existence.” What was interesting is how we emphasized the point of “living unskillfully, blindly, and thus to suffer and cause suffering.
What made the discussion so lively and captivating was the “energy” you could feel. If this was a classroom, everyone was locked in and focused, let me tell you. There was the usual barber shop camaraderie, but there was also a sense of hanging out with your family in your most relaxed state, but with a level of candor and realism that made for compelling interactions between us.
For those who will watch over the Internet, you will become glued to our session because of its rawness and yet honesty that you typically don’t see between Black men and of course most of us did not even know each other. So, for those who did not attend in person, you missed an exciting and lasting feeling of the journey to living in the Present and the process of simply “Being” and thus happy and content with yourself and not material things and possessions. We are on this journey, and look forward to seeing you next Monday, August 11 at 7:30 PM (CDT), live from the Image Kafe men’s salon, where you can make an appointment online.
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