The answer: behaviors and lessons from uncles and fathers that taught us what we know. Think back to the many conversations we have all had at work, at the barber shop, hanging out, on the golf course; the single most compelling term that pops up is: conquest. While I share the definition of conquest: an act of winning the love or sexual favor of someone, think back to what being popular meant or how prolific we want to be as purveyors of “off the chain” sexual thrills. But what is this really all about?
The egoic state is rooted in the simplest of words: “my”
Think about what this shortest of words represents and how the word “my” has sent us to jail, harmed family members deeply or worse caused us to act out in destructive ways that keep us down–on the inside that is. News flash, it is NOT “the man” that is keeping you down.
“This is my pussy…” “This is my crib…but I really can’t afford it…” “These are my cars–all 12 of them” “This is my jewelry…” It’s about my respect… Unfortunately, these images for young Black men today start at the age of 6 months old. Now imagine if you have a newborn and they see the following video as their daily dose of TV until 14 years, what do you think might be your result as a parent?
From page 134 of a A New Earth: “Although the body is very intelligent, it cannot tell the difference between an actual situation and a thought.” Here is what is meant: have you ever imagined what it would be like to do something (go the Super Bowl) or be associated with (get a lot of money) or (sleep with that person). You likely had more enjoyment and satisfaction thinking about those things. What actually happened and how did it truly feel to hang out with Beyonce in New York?
So ask yourself, while pursuing “my” related experiences, material things or conquests, in what state of mind were you? Was/is your thinking clear right now? Were you happy months afterward? Did the result or achievement cause you more pain than it was worth? Pain can take on many forms by the way such as anxiety, insecurity, paranoia, financial debt, unnecessary tension, relationship strain.
That is why Black men must “focus” and be clear and enjoy this moment…the right now as you read this blog. When you are discussing something at work or with a friend, think about where you are and what you are feeling, the smells, the sounds. Disassociate feeding your ego as what will make you happy. YOU will make you happy, not “my” related things. This might seem counter-intuitive but when you are connecting with yourself, and happy just being, your state of mind is freer to be in the Present. We often preoccupy ourselves with what I have to do next and if I don’t my day is ruined. We are always running, and fast most times. By de-emphasizing the “my” related stuff in your life, you will simplify your life.
This video is hypnotizing. I had someone read the post but when they got to the video, their tongue was hangin out in a hypnotic state. What the fuck is wrong with us, when we go so wrapped up in senseless debauchery.